This one comes from Dara:
OK, so we know now that Aunt Ida is not Christine’s biological mother. So, do you think this is the underlying cause of tension between Aunt Ida and Christine? Or are there other things in play, too? Aunt Ida even says that she has worn resentment for 40 years. Do you think this is healthy? I think I would have to get over my feelings and see Christine as my own child because I know too many step-parents who have to take over the parent role and have no problem with it. Feel free to speak from personal experience here—if you are comfortable, of course. I understand that seeing a girl that is the result of your father having an affair with your aunt is hard, but is it fair to take it out on Christine? Do you think things could have been better between Christine and Ray had the truth been laid out for Christine in the beginning?
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I don't blame Aunt Ida for having any resentment at all but yet she really cant take it out on Christine. Christine was just the outcome she didn't play any role in the whole situation. She doesn't even know anything about what happened so it is unfair to treat her badly for a mistake her mom made. I also think that since Aunt Ida did agree to claiming Christine as her child that she should just have treated Christine like she really was hers. It is almost the same thing as adopting a baby and then have a child on your own. When you raise the two children you are going to push it to the adopted one to the side then love the second one because it is your biological daughter. No they are both your children.
ReplyDeleteIt is definitely understandable that Ida would have resentment and regret the decision she made at such a young age. It is, however, wrong for her to take it out on Christine and treat her differently then she does Lee. Yeah, Christine is not her biological child but Ida still claimed her as her daughter so Christine should be treated as such. I do think that Ida should have told Christine about it though. I think it would have made their relationship stronger, and it might have made her stop comparing herself to Lee as much.
ReplyDeleteI completely UNDERSTAND why Ida acts the way she does toward Christine, but I don't believe that's fair towads Christine. I don't believe this is healthy because Christine nevre had a mother that truly loved her. She wanted a motherly figure in her life, but she didnt get that from Ida. I think Ida should have at least told Christine the truth because she never got to know her real mother.
ReplyDeleteAt first i really didnt like Ida and the way this treated Christine through out their lives. Now however, it all makes sense. The fact that Ida isnt even Christine's mother explains almost everything. I think more stuff must of happened between them though to make it so bad. There are lies and tension between them and that is not good. I think Christine should know the truth because it will make her realize why Ida acts the way she does... and why she has to call her "Aunt Ida". I think Christine realizing this will make their relationship improve and help them become closer.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think this is a huge underlying cause of the tension between Christine and Ida. Even though Christine doesn't know, I feel like Ida holds all her feelings in for Clara and takes them out on Christine. Something this big should never have been kept a secret. She should have been told from the start. Maybe then Christine would have been more knowledgable of why Ida is resenting her. Of course christine also could have thought that Ida never really wanted her and things could be a whole lot worse off for Ray and Christine.
ReplyDeleteIda does have resentment but I dont think she takes them out on Christine. Yes there is tension, but I think Christine creates that herself. It is only natural that she looks after Lee more; he was the youngest. But Christine is independent. She is a free spirit. And Lee is more needy. And at the beginning when Ida brought Christine home, she was very caring. Very loving. But as Christine aged, she didnt need as much. But when Clara came to take Christine away, Ida was like a mama bear protecting her cub.
ReplyDeleteI think Ida and Christine's relationship has a lot of baggage. Ida has dark secrets about Christine and Christine seems to keep many events from Ida. I think the two of them would have a healthier relationship if they started fresh and were honest with each other. I think Ida needs to tell Christine that she is her aunt but that doesn't make a difference in how she see's/cares about her. I think Ida's life has been hard because it hasn't gone the way she wanted and she is having a hard time showing affection towards others because of all her secrets. I also think that had Ida been honest with Christine from the start she may have turned out more loving, which could have improved her relationship with Ray.
ReplyDeleteI think that for having kept this sercet for this long shows how strong a person Ida really was. She got pushed into this situtation at first but, if she didnt want to do to then she would have gaven up on her when she was born. The problem is the longer she waits to tel Christine the more fear she has of what Christines reaction will be to this.
ReplyDeleteI see why Ida thinks how she thinks about christine but, its not christines fault. I da was nice enough to take in Chrisine. I dont thinks would change if Ray knew the truth. My cousins mother was in jail when she had her and my aunt took her in and she knows her mother but she donsent look at her diffrent or hold any grudges on her
ReplyDeleteIda should have already told christine about her real mother, you can tell that Ida doesn't want Christine to think of her as her mother because she makes her call her AUNT. I also think that however weird it may seem Ida has grown up and taken the responsibilities and sees herself as the motherly figure to Christine even though she may not like it.
ReplyDeleteI know from personal experience that taking a child that isn’t yours and trying to be a parent to them is very difficult and it takes a very strong hearted person to do so. When my step brother was about 15 his Dad died. His mom and my Dad were already married at that time but my Dad knew he had to play an even role than he was before. This wasn’t hard for him because he is very loving and caring and will do anything for his real children and his step. On the other hand it is very hard for my step mom to call me her own child. For Christine, she is very lucky to have had aunt Ida take her as her own child under the circumstances. If the parents would have told her when she was younger she wouldn’t be who she is today. She also wouldn’t be mature enough to even understand the situation.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that the blam is put on christine is wrong its not her fault and she had nothing to do with it. Ida did take a big rool by taking over the child which from how it turned out i dont think was the right thing to do. i dont tknow how it would have turned out had christine sayed with her real mother clara. but theres a high chanse it would have turned out better because clara was older and there for a bit more miture. had she grown up with her real mother that might have realesed alot of tention between ray and christine.
ReplyDeleteI strongly believe that Ida has resentment but i don't agree with the fact that she takes it out on Christine. She took Christine in and became a somewhat of a mother to her. She chose that lifestyle. The problem built up every year that Ida didn't tell Christine. That tension just got worse and worse.
ReplyDeleteI think the tension started even before Aunt Ida took Christine in to raise. Although I think they could of moved past those differences had she not had Christine to raise. Forty years is a extremely long time to hold anger in and I think as those years went on it built up more and more which came to be very unhealthy. However I would try not to let my anger be taken out on Christine. It was not her decision to be born through those circumstances. I think life between Christine and Ray could have been very much improved because then Ray could see how hard it was for her mom having to grow up without a very supportive mother.
ReplyDeletei dont think Ida should be taking her pain or whatever you wanna call it out on christine, yes she did have to take care of a child that wasnt hers and had to deal with the fact that it came from the result of her dad and aunt having an affair but its still not right to take it out on christine. I think christine wouldve had a better relationship with Aunt Ida if christine knew the truth because she was harsh on christine and i think thats why ray went through the same thing with christine.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that Ida should be taking out anything on Christine because it is not Christine's fault that Ida's Aunt was a scandal and slept with her father. Even though Christine is not her biological child Ida still should've acted as if she was. I think that the tension is Ida holding the grudge on Clara. I think that if the truth had been let out in the beginning that it might have changed things between Ida and Christine and it also might have changed the way things were with Christine and Ray.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that Ida's and Christine's relationship is tense because they aren't mother and daughter, i think that Ida cares about Christine alot. So maybe some of the decisions Christine made made Ida upset. Obviously she has to care about Christine some because she never told her the truth about everything which would've probably have hurt christine.
ReplyDeleteI do not think it is healthy to hold resentment the way that Ida does just because she probably hasnt had the best life because of all of that. I would also get over my feelings about everything and see Christine as my child expescially if i had raised her from birth like Ida did.
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ReplyDeleteI think that now we know why Aunt Ida acts the way she does with Christine, favoring Lee over her that is, and how she reacts to Christine and Ray when they show up on her door step. Not only is Christine not her biological daughter but she feels that Christine is partly to blame for the death of her son Lee. So naturally Ida is going to be a little pissed at Christine especially when Christine makes the comment that she is Ida only living child, I'm sure that comment must've hurt Ida very much. I'm not saying that don't Ida should take anything out on Christine, I'm just saying that now I can see the reason behind Ida's behavior.
ReplyDeleteI knew that based on how Christine described Ida and their dynamic, there had to have been a reason behind it all. I didn't really like Ida based on Chrstine's depictions, but now I understand her a lot more. Ida took in a child from an "interesting" relationship and raised her as her own, but not fully commiting to the role of "mother". I think if Ida told the truth, her relationship with Christine would get better. I don't think they'll get that mother-daughter bond all of a sudden, but I think they will appreciate each other more.
ReplyDeleteI think Aunt Ida gets frustrated becasue Christine doesn't know about Clara. Aunt Ida was forced into motherhood at a very young age while Clara did what she wanted and didn't take responsiblility for her child, and since Christine doesn't know this she thinks she is bitter at the world and doesn't understand. I think Aunt Ida should have told Christine about Clara because then Christine may have understood Aunt Ida better and there relationship would be better which might have caused Ray and Christine to be closer.
ReplyDeleteyes this is the reason for the tension between christine and ida. christine always said that ida looked at lee differently than her. and well we know why now. i dont think that wearing that resentment for 40 years is healthy she should have thought of christine as her real daughter and not the person who ruined her life. as for christine and ray. i really dont think things would have turned out differently because of just who christine is, but yet ida did play an important role in making christine who she is soooo i really dont know. maybe if ida treated her like a daughter maybe christine never even has ray. who knows.....
ReplyDeleteharboring anything except for maybe happiness for over forty years is not healthy. if you're constantly living in that past experience or moment in time, you cant move on with your life and let any other experiences shape your life into something better than what its been. and if there's a child involved, you owe it to them to be an adult and be a good example to that child of how to handle hard times in your life. children act more like their parents or guardians than we realize sometimes and they will definitely pick up on harbored emotions because they tend to come out at during other hared experiences in the present. in no way is it fair to Christine for Ida to take out her bottled up anger towards her family on Christine. Christine cant help it that she was born to parent having an affair and were members of the same family. things would be better between Christine and Ray if Christine had learned how to handle hard times.
ReplyDeleteI think that this is the underlying cause but I still believe that there are other things at play. Ida's resentment is very unhealthy, yet I can see where she is coming from. She didn't want Christine but took her on due the her responsibility to her family. I'm not sure if it would have been better to tell Christine when she was younger. For some people it would be a good thing, but for others it could be disastrous.
ReplyDeleteI think that it is, Aunt Ida isn't as close to Christine because it's not actually her kid. She also later regreted saying yes to Clara and taking the blame of having the baby. She didn't want the responsibilty of taking care of Christine. I feel bad for Ida because she was put in a very hard spot. I don't think that it is healthy for Ida to keep this from Christine because it hurts there relationship. She should have told Christine why she always treated her differently than Lee. She should have been honest about what happened instead of hiding what Clara did.
ReplyDeletei think that ida not being Christine's real mom is the main thing affecting there relationship. i think ida wonted to patch thing up or maybe even tell her the truth, but her ego or something got in the way. i think things would have been alot better between them, maybe alittle acwerd but still better
ReplyDeletei think that the relationship between christine adn ray might not have existed because christine would might have not been as wild and crazy and possibly respect ida more knowing that she took care of her even though she was not her biological mother. However if i was placed in christine's position and i would have flipped a wig and possible punched my real dad in the face and disowned my family for the fact the i was a love child that no one wanted.
ReplyDeleteI think that when sing Christine, Aunt Ida does not just see a daughter that isn't hers, but shes reminded of her past. She is remind of all the times shes been taken adventage of and used. Its like one big flashback over and over again. She is reminded of how she was riped away from her family, of how her family was tore apart, and how she was put down by her sister built up by Clara and then got put down again but by the women who built her up. Ida's life has been a constant battle and change. I think that its not that Ida doesn't l ike Christine, its just hard and subconciously she takes out all of her anger towards everyone from her past out on Christine. Shes resistful, but without meaning to be. Shes cherishes Lee because he is hers. And I think Ida wants to show Lee how much she loves him because of how she didn't feel loved from her own mother and how she saw Christine get left alone by her own mother and that is not the mother that Ida wants to be; so she shows an overflowing amount of affection onto her child without thinking about how it could affect Christine-her unexpected, unwanted, not her own-daughter.
ReplyDeleteyes I believe this is probably the underlying cause for most of the tension between Ida and Christine. However, Ida should have told christine that she wasn't her biological parent a long time ago rather than just hold it in forever. Ida shouldn't have taken the resentment she got from her family out on christine. christine was not to blame for what happened between Ida's father and Clara. when it comes to something like this the child is never to blame because who can choose their parents or the circumstances of their creation.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the underlying cause of all the tension between Ida and Christine is because Ida realized that taking Christine in as her own was a mistake. I think that Ida as forgiven Clara but never has forgotten it. I think that Christine has had so much trouble with life is because Ida and her never really connected. I think that Ida never intended on keeping Christine for forever, but Clara probably didn't want Christine back. In my opinion if Christine was told that she was Clara's daughter not Ida's she would have grown up very different. If she was told she was Clara's daughter maybe Lee would still be alive and maybe Ray would have never been born.
ReplyDeleteThe resentment is not healthy. It is hard for understand what Ida was feeling being Christine's mother. I understand that it must have been hard, but i think that she should have either told her the truth so they could understand one another and gotten over it and known the truth. OR, she should have sucked it up and been a mother 100%. I dont want to sound inconsiderate.. but again, i dont know how it would feel to be in that situation.
ReplyDeleteSince she decided not to tell her, i think that the secret should remain, although if Ida told Christin, Christine might be able to figure out why their relationship is so messed up and fix it before its too late, and maybe pull herself together.
Because ida is not her biological parent I feel its partially part of it. If it was her real parent she would not have a lot of the problems she has with ida. I do not feel Ida's resentment for 40 years is healthy, because I feel like you should live life with no regrets and to the fullest and she could not do it. It is not fair to treat Christine badly though just because of the affairs going on in their family. She could not do anything to cause that. I don't think it would make a difference when the truth was announced. What happend was wrong.
ReplyDeleteI believe that in this situation it was cause of tension betwen Ida and Christine. but I also believe that if Ida had laid it all out for Christine much of this tension would not exist and it would be much easier for the two to tolerate them. I think that if Christine realized what Ida had done for her, she would respect her much more and not make her seem like such a bad person. I also thnk that Ida is so hard with Christine because its hard for her to keep such a big secret from her.
ReplyDeleteI think with Ida not being her real mom has a little to do with it. I don't think Aunt Ida should have any resentment at all because that was her choice and she cant take it out on Christine.I don't think her resentment is healthy because you should have the best lifetime you are going to have regardless of the obstacles you face.
ReplyDeleteIt's true that it's not fair to take it out on Christine but if you look at it from Ida's point of view, her family started to really fall apart when she agreed to claim the baby and she was still fairly young when it happened. I don't think that she had matured enough to take that wieght on and that deffinately caused some of the tension between her and Christine. I know from expirience that it's hard to forgive someone that has taken away your childhood. I believe that having Lee also caused tension because he would always be the favorite and Christine would never know why.
ReplyDeleteI think that Aunt Ida acts different with Christine for that reason pretty much. It is not fair to punish someone who is the RESULT of something bad that happened though. I guess i can see the stress that a baby who isn't even yours can put on a person but it doesn't help to completely neglect the kid. Christine would have been much better off if Ida would have just saw past what her father did and she started fresh with an open mind about the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteI think it could of been hard for Aunt Ida to have to take christine in as her child. knowing that she is not her real daughter, but her sister and her niece. The "relationship" between her father and her aunt made it really hard for Aunt Ida to get use to. I also feel like this this is not a very healthy to have built up anger towards christine.
ReplyDeletei think that if ida were to take christine into her custody, then she needs to treat her as her own daughter, and not have any resentment towards her for any reason, especially because she isn't her mom...
ReplyDeleteIda not telling the truth to Christine wasnt really good. I think that it had an impact on Ray and Christine's mother-daughter relationship. Buit i know that Ida wasnt ready for no kids so she wasnt a good mother figure for Christine.
ReplyDeletei dont think that Ida can have resentmant toward christine. We all know that Christine was here because of an affair but it wasnt fair to take it out on her. Another thing that comes into play it that Ida volenteered to take into christine. If you put yourself out there to take in a child, then you are obligated to treat it as your own. Even tho it would be hard due to the situation, Ida should have told christine at some point the real story. This might release some tension between them and change the anger in their relationship.
ReplyDeleteI understand that Ida has resentment for Christine, but is it fair to take it out on her for it? In my opinion definately not. She has cared for Christine since she was a child and should have taken her in as her own. Instead she has resented her her entire life. Ida wasted a precious body that could have been loved . I know many step-parents that have cared for their step-child as if they were one of their own. I have experianced it and it is the best feeling. Thinking about this question actually turned my opinion on Aunt Ida negative.
ReplyDelete